


Loud Inside My Head

by McDanno_Girl



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-14
Packaged: 2017-12-29 09:33:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,240
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/McDanno_Girl/pseuds/McDanno_Girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve can't sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Loud Inside My Head

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BFive0](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BFive0/gifts).



> Based on [this lovely gif set](http://bookemdannodotnet.tumblr.com/post/63847060366/stileslovesderek-mcdanno-au-steve-danno-have) that Bubbles made as an AU for episode 4.03. Some of the dialogue comes directly from that, so full credit to her. Title comes from the Skylar Gray song "Words."
> 
> _It's so loud inside my head_   
>  _With words that I should have said_   
>  _And as I drown in my regrets_   
>  _I can't take back the words I never said_

Steve McGarrett can't sleep.

He tosses. It's fucking ridiculous.

He turns. He's trained himself to fall asleep at practically a moments notice. Best to get what sleep you can because you never know when you'll be able to again.

He tosses again. He's slept in trees and on concrete floors. He's slept laying down, sitting, and standing up. And once, in a country he can't name on a mission that didn't officially happen, he slept through a blizzard using a pile of cow shit to keep him warm.

But tonight...

He.

Just.

Can't.

Sleep.

He flops onto his back and presses a pillow to his face. A pillow that smells like Danny. Danny's shampoo, hair products, and well, Danny.

It can't be the lack of Danny's sleep warm body and mussed hair next to him that's keeping him awake. It's not like he hasn't slept alone since they started this... whatever you call it when instead of bickering and teasing and flirting with each other, you fuck. Partners with benefits? Fuck buddies? _Lifemate_ a voice whispers inside his head.

Thoughts of Danny cause his dick to twitch with interest. Maybe a self induced orgasm would help him sleep. But after a few experimental tugs, he gives up. His own hand is not what his dick seems to want right now.

With a low growl of frustration, Steve throws the pillow back to the other side of the bed. _Danny's side of the bed_. But that's not entirely true. Although Danny has shared his bed several times over the past year, Steve can admit that he's never made any gesture that would indicate to Danny that he thought of that side of the bed as Danny's.

And he knows that's what Danny wants. He knows that's part of the reason their fun bickering fueled foreplay then fucking turned into downright nasty fighting then fucking. _Your fault_. And lately, they were just fighting without the fucking. _Your fault. You're broken_.

Three days ago, Danny had enough. _Your fault_. Said he was tired and wanted a break. _A break from you_. That he was going to take a week or two vacation to clear his head. _Everyone leaves you_.

Then the Van Horns got killed. Dedicated cop that he was, Danny wouldn't leave Steve and Chin to work the case alone. So he stayed, all but ignoring Steve unless he had to speak to him, but he stayed. _You don't deserve him_.

And now here he was. Alone. Unable to sleep. Thoughts of Danny so vivid in his mind, he could practically taste him. Danny beneath him as he fucks into him slow and hard. Danny gasping out Steve's name as he strokes himself. Danny's beautiful face when he comes.

A few more tugs on his dick. Still nothing. _You want Danny's hand. Danny's touch_.

“I just want Danny.” Steve's own whispered confession surprises him. But as an image of Danny with the Van Horn's young daughter flashes in his mind, he realizes that it's the truth.

Picturing Danny with that little girl and suddenly, everything falls into place. _Lifemate_. He can see Danny in Mary's old room holding their own son or daughter. He can see Danny in twenty years holding their grandchild. He can see Danny in fifty years holding their great-grandchild. And he fucking wants it. All of it.

Steve sits up, throws on a t-shirt, and twenty minutes later, he's standing outside the door to Danny's hellhole-of-the-month apartment. _What are you waiting for?_

Letting himself in he finds Danny fast asleep on the couch. He must have passed out watching a movie or a game or something.

Not quite sure what to do now, he sits on the recliner and drinks in his fill of a sleeping Danny. Mouth partly open, soft breaths, wild hair. A shift of the hand. A soft snuffle. Danny is at his most beautiful like this. Relaxed and peaceful.

“It's creepy when you do that,” Danny's sleep roughened voice breaks Steve out of his thoughts.

“Do what?”

“Stare at me when I'm asleep.”

“I don't stare at you when you sleep.”

Danny snorts. “You gonna tell me why you snuck into my apartment?”

Steve looks towards the front door. It's only a few feet away. He could be out and to his truck before Danny even woke up enough to get off the couch. _Don't chicken out now._

“I can't do this anymore,” he finally says, still looking at the door.

“So let me get this straight. You wake me up at..." Danny pauses briefly to blink his eyes open and look at his watch. "...3am to break up with me and you can't even look at me while you're saying it?”

“Break up? No! Far from it. I'm fucking in love with you Danno. Seeing you with that little girl today made me realize that I want to have a family with you. Marriage. Kids. A lifetime of you beside me. I want it all.”

“Oh.” Steve can barely hear Danny's reply over the sound of his heart beating. And then Danny just stares at him. _Now you've done it. You pushed too far, too fast_.

Steve can't bear to look at him anymore. Doesn't want to see Danny's face when the inevitable let down happens. So he drops his head and looks at the floor. He's so focused on his slipper clad feet that he doesn't notice Danny stand up and walk over to him.

A hand under his chin lifts his head and then Danny's lips are on his in a slow kiss. _Oh God, yes!_ Steve rests his hands on Danny's waist and tries to pull him in to deepen the kiss but Danny steps back and no, Steve does not whimper at the loss of contact.

“Goof,” Danny whispers looking at him fondly, the corners of his eyes crinkling.

Danny takes his hands and helps him to his feet then leads them down the hallway muttering the whole way to the bedroom. “We are going to bed. And in the morning, you will make me breakfast and propose to me for real. I will say yes and then I will enthusiastically blow you. And it will all be wonderful and glorious and like a fairy tale happily ever after, only with blowjobs. But for now, we're going to tangle up together in my bed and go to sleep because it's three o'clock in the fucking morning Steven and some of us need our beauty rest because we don't naturally look like every woman's and some men's wet dream come to life.”

They undress and crawl under the blanket then trade soft kisses and nuzzles for several minutes before Danny turns and presses up close to Steve's chest. Steve wraps his arms tight around him and kisses the back of his head.

The intimacy and closeness is new. They usually just fucked and passed out, more often than not on opposite sides of the bed. But this? This he could get used to.

Danny's breathing evens out and Steve thinks he's already gone to sleep when he hears “I fucking love you too. Now stop thinking so loud and let me sleep.”

Steve kisses the back of his head again and closes his eyes. Sleep isn't far off for him now. He's got Danny, for the rest of his life if the fates are kind.

And in his head. Silence.

 


End file.
